Where did my time go? It’s 6:15am on a Thursday and I am finally sitting down to write my post for the week. I am not a procrastinator. People who know me know that I am punctual and really hate leaving things undone. Give me a deadline and I will not only meet it, I will beat it. So why am I just now writing this post?
Seriously. It’s not that I don’t have a thousand ideas and posts half written. It’s just that I, me, Kathy had certain expectations for myself when I started this journey. Expectations about what I would write, how I would write and my own plans.
And then life happens. An unexpected trip is happening this week and I needed to do my taxes before I left. I needed to arrange for the house/dog sitter. I needed to clean the house. I needed to do laundry. I needed to make sure everything was done here before I left.
I also needed to be the daughter that everyone expected me to be. The wife. The friend. The mom. The sister. And so I became overwhelmed. I am being honest with you here. I am sharing with you that there are times in my life that I don’t want to meet those expectations. I don’t want to be reliable. I don’t want to pick up all the balls other people are dropping. I don’t want to handle it all. I just want to hide and avoid it.
We all feel overwhelmed at times in our lives to live up to everyone’s expectations of us as well as the expectations we put on ourselves. Sometimes we need to just be OK to not meet those expectations. That is so hard for me to do. Is it hard for you too?
I was feeling so overwhelmed that I did the one thing I hate to do. I procrastinated and put this part of my life on the back burner. I went to yoga and then I went to a movie. I gave myself the me time I needed to continue to be the Kathy people expected. Then I gave myself the OK to not even be that.
In the end I realized that the expectations to be that Kathy was just too much to bear with all the other stuff going on. This is my post for the week. This is my OK to you to do the same. To rein in those expectations on yourself. Just say no. Don’t expect perfection in yourself and be OK that others will see that you aren’t the perfect mom, the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect sister, the perfect friend, the perfect co-worker, the perfect blogger that the world may expect and want.
I can only do one role at a time. Today, I choose to be the daughter my father asked of me and I will do all I can to watch over mom. Because today she needs me to be the Kathy everyone else knows. She needs me more than all the other roles that I play. And I am good with that.
Because life happens and we all need to reassess our own expectations.
Catch you all in a week!